hello! long time no see. if you have reviewed my status cafe, you might have seen that i stated my goal by the end of summer is to cancel my spotify subscription. but first, i need to download what is probably thousands of songs i have collected over the past 5ish years since using this app. three of my longest playlists have ~130 songs and are just under 10 hrs long
i've been wanting to do this for a long time, but it always felt so daunting. this is a wild amount of data to sift through, download, name, and organize! but i must start somewhere.
how i have been doing it:
one last thing. michaelmas's article on disembodiment made me realize the many ways i may detach myself from life/experiencing. one of these ways was by exclusively listening to isolated songs instead of an entire album/ep. reading this, i realized i wanna be better at listening to whole albums again. while i do love to making playlists (that will never change!) i want to also add more intentionality to my listening habits
i think this is also one of the problems with spotify. these impressive algorithms are able to present us with an infinite list of "curated" (divorced from their album) songs that it knows we will enjoy, rather than allowing ourselves to discover and judge albums as a whole. while these algorithms have certainly introduced me to many new artists, this has also reduced me from judgement or meaningmaking that i would have experienced had i listen to an entire album myself. so, in order to get back some of my agency from the algorithm, i am only downloading complete albums at this point. perhaps later in my journey, i will pick out single songs to download, but only after listening to the entire album/ep
so this is where i am at in my journey! i hope to start a page where i can list the albums i have downloaded with commentary. in the meanwhile, check out my last.fm. and now that im freeing myself from spotify, lmk what kind of music i should give a try. i might just download the entire album!
well, i said i wouldnt update often anymore, but i cant wait to show this to you guys. i made art! big deal for me bc i have definetly neglected my artistic side since finishing my fine arts associates degree.
what spurred this project was in one of my museum studies classes. we were tasked with coming up for a gift for a museum we are going to volunteer at. this museum is run by an ojibwe (indigneous group based in the USA) staff, so we will be contributing to their community's gift bundles while visiting. i was unsure what to make. first i thought knitting some socks, but that would take too long. then aha! why not make some prints? that way several people can have my gift
so, i dusted off my carving tools, a lino block i bought nearly two years ago, and i got to work. i decided to depict some corn cobs, because i feel a kinship to corn. it's ancient origins in mesoamerica, its migration to all over turtle island, reaching beyond the great lakes. in a way, i have the same story. my story began in what we now call mexico and i traveled so far, settling into what we now call the american midwest. although nearly 2000 miles (3200 km) apart from each other, i call both places my home.
hi! its been a while. updates will be slowing down due the semester's end nearing. i can't believe it. there's still so much to do! argh. honestly this blog post is just a way for me to further procastinate
if you have been keeping up with me on status.cafe, you will know that my apartment recently flooded due to a wild thunderstorm. nothing too crazy, but it did take a couple hours to move everything, mop several litres of water, and move everything back. very frusterating. unfortunately my landlords are unlikely to do anything meaningful, but i will probably still try to contact them about this, esp since they want to no doubt want to raise our rent for our new lease
also, i am starting an e-portfolio to put all of my writing in. my school has suggested a couple different platforms, but i have decided to instead host my portfolio on neocities, because why not. i'm using a template by Teppy's Layouts. honestly more excited to have a chance to code (however little) than writing lol
well that'll probably be all for a while. just know im always lurking, even if im not posting
it seems every passing week, my parents grow more anxious with the trump adminstration. i mean, everyone around me grows more anxious, but my parent's talks about moving back to mexico have been shifting from jokes and pipedreams to becoming serious suggestions or precautions.
i would be lying if it hasnt crossed my mind, to return to my birth country. my primary concerns is my american boyfriend and making sure i finish my degree. i asked my partner jokingly where would he go if things went crazy here and he told me he would accompany me to mexico if not with his parents. as for my degree, while it might not be very useful, as english is my first language and my education is focused on american histories, so not probably not useful for many mexican museum jobs, but i would like to finish my bachelors if for only my sense of satisfaction.
still, its not like things are a paradise in mexico. my sister was telling me today about the masses of bones of missing people being found in a cartel training base.
i will say, i know its an immense privilege for it even being possible for me to pick and choose which nation to stay in. i know there are friends, family, community members that dont have the same flexibility. i feel the pull to remain here with them in solidarity
we'll see what happens. my parents left their home countries, where the language was different, the education was different, the culture was different, in hopes for a better life. now theres a chance i might return to their home country in hopes of a better life.
i keep yearning for feeling apart of the community (whatever that means?) but i keep myself trapped at home, restless, anxious, pacing around like a bored dog with no enrichment. bc im shy, have no friends, no one to guide me
but im trying to change that. im done waiting for someone to ask me to hang out. i take myself out for coffee. i walk to places so i can be among people instead of being isolated in my car.
on friday, the gallery i intern at had a opening reception for our latest exhibit. i talked to so many people that night. it was fun. exciting. so many people with all hopes, dreams, interests. and they were so open to talking about them.
one woman just ran up to me and asked why am i here and what i do. and it was really neat. she was so energetic and genuine. i admired her. another woman chatted me for a while and talked about her partner who passed away recently and how she is trying to move past that by going out to the art show that night. very touching. my former supervisor had her boyfriend there. i talked to him a bunch about his job: a truck driver. i told him i love semitrucks and he thought i was joking. i told him i have a dream project to document interesting semi trucks i see on i65. and he told me he recommends doing long-haul truck driving if i have no obligations. he said he saw the most beautiful scenes driving across america. maybe i will one day.
i went to a MFA thesis art exhibition at my uni today. no one really invited me. i didnt really know anyone that well. but i wanted to go because why not. see some art. im gonna be an art historian. i should be familiar with my local scene.
i ended up talking to a classmate. i know hes really introverted, and he kept mentioning that hes exhuasted talking to people. so i really appreciate he took the time to talk with me. we discussed his art process, new orleans, photography, street art, his bachelors in philosphy.
i blamed my anxious, shy demenor on being gen z, covid, excessive social media consumption. sure, these things play a part. but they also can't hold me back. what can i lose by being open, genuine, honest, outgoing, and friendly? 2025 calls for change. im ready to challenge myself